dazzlingMist

another songs that i love most.. syairnya begitu dalam. i wish someday i can say it to someone  ^^ > bener ga grammarnya?

I Believe My Heart

Keedie and Duncan James

Whenever i see your face, the world dissappears,
All in a single glance of, revealing,
You smile and i feel as though, ive known you for years,
How do i know to trust what im feeling.

I believe my heart, what else can i do,
When every part of every thought leads me straight to you,
I believe my heart, theres no other choice,
For now whenever my heart speaks, i can only hear your voice.

A lifetime before we met, has faded away,
How did i live a moment without you,
You dont have to speak at all, i know what you’d say,
And i know every secret about you.

I believe my heart, it believes in you,
Its telling me that what i see is completely true,
I believe my heart, how can it be wrong,
It says that what i feel for you i will feel my whole life long.

I believe my heart, it believes in you,
Its telling me that what i see is completely true,
And with all my soul i believe my heart,
The portrait that it paints of you, is a perfect work of art.

there is a time when we think that we are the only one in this world who carry a heavy load. we think that no one will understand what we are feeling and other can not help us.

in another time, we think that we had done the best one for others. sometime we forget that as the subject of condition, we have others as the objects. in that condition they also had thought and opinion about the situation. they also have feelings and emotion. sometime we forget to understand they feelings.

in one side, if we do the right thing we will show that, ‘ni lho, gw bener.’ gw ga bermaksud demikian. apa gunannya gw ngerasa kaya gitu klo di satu sisi gw harus merasa kehilangan sesuatu yang penting? gw ga bermaksud bahwa gw benar. ga ada maksud sama sekali. i didn’t think about it.

klo dipikir-pikir, i feel so damn sad after i faced the situation. yang lain (other person in the situation) pasti juga ada perasaan dan emosi. even though they didn’t feel the same way with me, they also have hurt. i should have to be wise.

maybe our way is right, but we have to understand that the way of other people react to something is considered by their condition.  we have to understand it, even though it does out of sense. we have to be more patient in handling other or something. i think it is one part to be > how to say it in English?? dewasa.

one of my friend told me, ” everything that we’ve given for other, someday will be the most precious things, it is possible to believe.
So…
Stay to lovin’ and carin’ each other..even its just an ordinary thing. Keep on lovin’ ”

i am looking forward for that moment. what to do now is be more tolerant, be more patient and wiser. as a part of my journey. to be a better me. i am so blessed to have friends who beside me and make me fell so positive

.ap.

sometimes i think if only i had known how will my life leading me to the condition i am now, i won’t take any silly decisions.

i do not regret any decisions that i had made. i just think, in that condition my life will be easier and i know what i have to do.

several times, i am in condition which push me to make a decision. sometimes i can spontaneous decide it, in other time i have to think it very carefully.

i know and understand (and also realize) that any condition which make me have to make decision, it will lead me to be a completely person.

if i have to choose one from two options, i will choose the most important for me. for some people, friends are more important than others. for others, family is the number one. but, what will you do if you have to choose between your siblings and your parents? how will you put yourself in that condition?

i was present in the world because of my parents. they brought me to life and fill my days with their love. siblings are the ones of family who related close to you when your parents have gone. the ones who inherited the same blood with you.

as an elder sister, i always try to understand my sister. it is pretty hard to understand someone that only spent time together for least than 15 years. sometimes i think i don’t know her after she 15 years old. of course i know her personality but not deeply.we are not a close sister, we just an ordinary sister.

i am trying to give her a space to develop herself. in the other hand, i am badly worry to see how she handle her life. what if she take a wrong decision, what if her friends influence her, what if and other what if. i am just her sister, but i am worry because i know her. i realize both of us are different. we have different way to see a problem.

it make me sad to hear about her story in dealing with friends or closed friends. in one side, i understand the reason why she chose the condition. in the other side, i regret her condition. she is a kind of person who have to experience in order to take the lesson out. well, everybody is learning from their experience. but it is not good if it you always stuck in the same pattern.

i trust her but it doesn’t stop me to care on her. just to make sure she is allright, she is fine, she is healthy; is good enough for me.

she asked to make appointment when i want to see her. it kind such a ridiculous thing for me. in my opinion, if i visit her and i can not see her at that time it is not a problem for me. the same goes to if she is busy, i just turn my way and leave her with her business. in one of my visit, she said that my visit had suprised her. in order to not suprised her, i have to make appointment when i want to meet her. honestly, i was sad when she asked that. but, i think if it will make her happy there is no reason why i don’t do it.

someone who know both of us told me that i was to weak in caring her. i am not purely agree with it. my sister said that i have to trust her because she has grown up. okay, i gave space to her. but when i saw that she betrayed my trust, does it wrong if i decided to do something to make her understand what she did was not right and the way she thought was not correct? should i just pretend myself that there is nothing happen?

i realize that the way i reacted was “KERAS (in indonesian)” in one episode of our days as sister. but i didn’t imagine that she said that she will not respect me because i didn’t respect her friends and then slam the door in front of me. at the moment i didn’t say a word. but deeply it badly hurt my feelings. eventhough what i did was right, for her it was not. she prefer friends to her sister. okay, my emotion was not good when i handled the situation, perhaps one of my words hurt her. but, along with time, can not she understand what i have done for her?

i just think it is not fair. when both of us should take care each other, why should it happened? why does each time i came she didn’t smile on me while to other visitors she can give her smile? why does she didn’t let me to touch her forehead to check her temperature when she was sick? does she hate me? does she not like to having a sister like me? or i just to sensitive in seeing this condition.

i am weak, huh? weak and sensitive. i don’t like this condition.

deeply in my heart, i am sure both of us can deal with this. i just let her to have her time, perhaps she has another problems which influence her to react like that. time will heal this relation.

.ap.

an original soundtrack from toy story 2. nice lyrics. one of my favorites  song. can’t stop myself to rewind it > laugh with big grin

When she loved me
Sarah mc lachlan

When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart
And when she was sad, I was there to dry her tears
And when she was happy, so was i, when she loved me.

Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all
Just she and I together, like it was meant to be
And when she was lonely, I was there to comfort her
And I knew that she loved me.

So the years went by, I stayed the same
And she began to drift away, I was left alone
Still I waited for the day, when she’d say “i will always love you.”

Lonely and forgotten, never thought she’d look my way,
She smiled at me and held me, just like she used to do,
Like she loved me, when she loved me

When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful,
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart
When she loved me.

sebenernya hari ini ke kampus cuma untuk seminar, tapi berhubung diriku tidak mau menyia-nyiakan kesempatan gratis, jadilah diriku berada di lt.3 gedung pasca menikmati wi-fi.

sebenernya dah dari tadi jam 11 gw ada di sini, blum bosen.. Lagian blum ngalahin rekor gw minggu lalu, 6 jam nongkrong di Pasca!! Dari jam 8 am sampe 2 pm, dan diakhiri dg perut gw yang teriak2 keuroncongan. Tahu nih, padaa dasarnya aku itu internet addict atau orang yang ga melewatkan barang gratis??

Sial, gara2 ini image gw di angkatan jadinya terkenal sebagai orang yg ga bisa nolak barang gratis \m/ Lagian ga ditulis ko batasnya ngenet sampe jam berapa. Fasilitas kan harus digunakan sebaik2nya tho?

Klo dibilang suka gratisan, kayanya semua orang suka sama yg gratisan. Contohnya udara, gratis kan? Klo itu mah jelas semua butuh ya.. Tapi polusi udara, panas matahari, debu, banjir meski gratisan ga pada suka kan?

Gw lebih memilih untuk disebut sebagai orang yang tahu memanfaatkan sarana yg ada dg sebaik2nya > halah! La iya, lha wong minggu pertama di sini yg gw jajal pertama ialah fasilitas wi-fi. Bis tuh baru gw cerita ke teman2 lain betapa bahagaianya menikmati wi-fi di kampus. Bagi orang yang pertama kali mengusulkan hal ini diberlakukan, semoga Tuhan menganugerahkan banyak rahmat karena telah membahagiakan seorang fakir internet addict seperti gw hehehehe…

oh.. i hate myself

yesterday i wrote that i am a person who don’t know what should i do.

today i realize that i hate my self for my condition. The reasons are:

1. my writing shows how weak i am

2. what the hell i was thinking on yesterday? i thought i am the one who can see objectively and understand others, while in other side i can protect my self from drowning in the problem

maybe it is true. i always pretend to be someone who is strong, to keep my pride that i can help my self. frankly i say, when i am down i use to wear a mask. i think most people do the same thing. wearing a mask.

come on, you should not be like this. this is not you. come on, cheer up

yes, i have to pull my self again and collect my soul. hidup terus bergulir, jadi ga sepantasnya gw pertahankan kondisi kaya gini. let see how i work with it

.ap.

how can you describe a broken heart?

how can you heal a broken feelings?

Don’t know where to start it. Some times I think, if I have to feel this feelings and I know it hurt me in the end, so why should I have to start it?

Sometimes I think, what I feel is my precious thing. I have to keep it from outer, protect it from anything that can hurt it and provide it with anything that make me feel happy and warm.

if i can choose, i want to know how will i ended in one page of my life. so i can skip things that will hurt me and collect all things that make me comfort.

does my heart responsible to me or do i am the one who responsible to him?

when i was sick of this life, will i put this,

“Ia membuat segala sesuatu indah pada waktunya, bahkan Ia akan memberikan kekekalan dalam hati kita. Tetapi kita, manusia, tidak akan dapat menyelami pekerjaan yang dilakukan Allah dari awal sampai akhir… maka berdoa dan berharaplah!’

as my quote of my life?

if love is real, why does it make our feeling up and down? Reality is good. It is good enough to show me that my life is up and down when i was in love with someone. The question is, will it ended when i finally find my prince?

Honestly, today i have had played past. i didn’t want to remember it, but it came to me now. i know even though it hurt me, now i can smile on it. i can understand the feelings and i am glad i can fill my self with those memories. deep in my heart, i am jealous with people who had chance to share their feelings. i was too afraid i will show my weakness to others and i was sure i could handle it by myself.

i wonder, what kind of book of life that will i create in the end of my day. How many people and occasion will be written on it. the one that i know, i am the writer of my book.

.ap.

Put your faith in what you most believe in
Two worlds, one family
Trust your heart
Let fate decide
To guide these lives we see

Klo ada yang suka animasi Disney, pasti ingat deh ama lirik ini. Ini sepenggal lirik kesukaan gw dari OST. Tarzan (1999) yang berjudul Two Worlds. Lagu ini merupakan lagu yang mengiringi bagian awal dari film tersebut dan setiap kata-kata menggambarkan adegan yang  terjadi.

Cuman gw bukannya mau ngebahas soal filmnya (Honestly, this is one of my favorite movies. The second time I saw it was one week ago. And I was cried in the end of this song). Gw justru mau ngebahas lirik baris pertama ama yang baris ketiga sampai kelima.

Faith dalam bahasa Indonesia artinya keyakinan. Secara harfiah dah jelas kan klo kita meyakini sesuatu yg kita percayai. Namun ga segampang itu diterjemahkan…
Keyakinan itu ga terbatas pada satu hal, tapi meliputi semua yang menjadi bagian hidup kita. Apa yang kita peroleh dari setiap perjalanan hidup kita merupakan unsur yang mempengaruhi keyakinan kita.

Contohnya, klo kita yakin dan percaya bahwa kita tuh unik, spesial dan berharga, itu akan jadi dorongan bagi kita untuk melakukan hal-hal yang spesial pula > hehe.. mengutip kata2 master Oogway dari Kung Fu Panda :-p
Yakin berhubungan sama optimis. Optimis berhubungan sama sikap mental dan pola pikir memandang sesuatu. Sikap mental dan pola pikir akan mempengaruhi jenis tindakan yang akan kita ambil dalam keseharian kita. Nah, klo gini kelihatan kan hubungannya?

Tapi agak susah klo kita ngomongin hati. Klo boleh ingat pas jaman belajar agama waktu SMP, hati nurani merupakan inti terdalam dari diri kita. Pasti deh, semua orang punya hati nurani, cuman masalahnya didengerin ato ga.
Di jaman sekarang, segala sesuatu butuh pertimbangan. Bahkan mau ke belakang di tempat umum pun ditimbang-timbang. Biasanya sih yang diperbandingkan antara hati nurani ama logika. Nah, klo dah gini mule dah ada konflik dalam diri.

Dalam kenyataan, lirik tersebut susah diwujudkan. Banyak orang yang beda pendapat soal takdir. Ada yg bilang takdir di tangan Tuhan, ada yang bilang takdir itu ditentukan pula oleh kita sendiri. Wah, klo dah gini gw angkat tangan deh… Soalnya itu kembali ke keyakinan masing-masing kan? Hehehehe…..

.ap.